I Don’t Know About Today

I feel very sad today. So many things are not how I thought they would be.

I didn’t think that I would be reprimanded and lectured by my own husband before he even said good morning.

I didn’t think that I would become his scapegoat for every stress in his life.

I didn’t think he would be so critical of how I am trying to raise our son and yet offer no suggestions or words of advice.

I never thought I would wonder what the point of our relationship was. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know, anymore.

I never thought I would be scared to talk to him about anything. And now I am dreading the conversation I have to have with him about money we owe on medical bills. Like he is going to get pissed at me for causing is to owe so much money. It’s not my fucking fault our insurance will only cover so much.

I am so tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life. It’s not my fault.

Do you hear me? IT’S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!!!

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2 responses to this post.

  1. been there in a manner of speaking, it’s hard.

  2. Posted by Jess on February 12, 2010 at 3:31 am

    Oh, babe, I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could fix it for you. You’re both in my thoughts and prayers. This sucks.

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