We Might Lose Everything

Without getting into specifics, DM’s business has been suffering, just as everyone’s has been in this shitty economy. But now things are really getting scary. Come this Friday, he will be completely out of work with no money coming in. He will have no way to make payroll, let alone pay the mortgage on our house.

He is currently speaking to a bank about loan options, to see if he wants to risk getting even farther in debt to try to get the company back on it’s feet. I have no idea what he is going to do. Part of me really wants to tell him to shut it down. It has caused him nothing but stress. And I am so TIRED of having him come home feeling angry and defeated.

Not that things would be easier if he did. We would have to sell our home. We would probably lose our cars and we would have to move in with my parents. (I say my parents, because I already paid my fucking dues living with TDW before we were even married. I would rather live in a shelter than live with that shit again.) It is very likely we would have to declare bankruptcy. That make me sick. We have excellent credit (over 700 on our scores) and we have ABSOLUTELY no personal debt other than our mortgage. No one is safe. No one.

DM has also reached a point where he is so depressed about how his life has turned out that he just doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Do you know how hard that is? To have a husband that had SUCH drive that now can barely get the energy to get off the couch on the weekend?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know what to say or how to ease his burden.

I feel so fucking helpless.

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